@Dawn_M_: Stop giving me life advice, people who don't know how crocodiles have sex.
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@Reverend_Scott: And then God said, "Let there be Black Friday." and he saw that it was a terrible idea but it was too late cuz people were already in line.
@QwertyJones3: GENE SIMMONS: What is it about me that makes people think I'm gross? "Hygiene" SIMMONS: Hi. Now answer my question.
@ShittyComedian: My drug of choice is laughter....and cocaine. Mostly cocaine. Sometimes angel dust. Molly is cool too. RT if you love Jesus.
@GoldenSpirals: Cashier: What does your tattoo say? Me: It doesn't talk. Cashier: Ya, but what does it say? Me: IT DOESN'T TALK. Cashier: Ok, Ma'am.