@Arrogant_Twat: STOP HITTING ON MY TWITTER CRUSH YOU... YOU... EQUALLY UNKNOWN INTERNET DUDE!
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@Kali_Mura: Cop: So, I’m writing a ticket for driving alone in the car pool lane. Me: You’re going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk.
@ch000ch: YouTube: hey we saw u watched a video about a thing Me: great, would it be possible to fill my entire feed with that thing, forever?
@crabgirl_: *Date with a boy I dated when we went to kindergarden* *puts two big bowls of worms and mudwater on the table* Him-YUCK!!! Me-You've changed