@internetluke: "STOP IT STOP IT. CUT. THIS IS ALL WRONG" I scream at my cats dressed like vampires. "This is NOTHING like Twilight!!"
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@trevso_electric: Just once, I'd like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"
@kumailn: The Devil has his own Bible. He's releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web.
@SocialExtortion: fun prank: text a girl "we need to talk right now" and then throw your phone into a river
@ElleOhHell: Many English names are derived from occupations, like Fletcher (arrow maker), Cooper (barrel maker), or Cunningham (tricky pig).