@mendigurl: Stop. It's not like I'm after everyone's husband. Just yours.
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@rolldiggity: Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
@Skullcat: I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I'll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
@KeetPotato: dude at house party: "anybody here wanna bone?" girl: "ew" girl 2: "no way" girl 3: "never" dog: "i am very interested in your offer"
@MandiAtRandom: Something good is coming my way I can feel it. Nothing life changing, probably just a hotdog God please let it be a hotdog