@DaddyJew: "STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO", I yell to my 5 year old.
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@iamchrisscott: A good comeback when someone doesn't believe you're a time traveler is "Yeah well nobody cried at your funeral."
@SadPeruna: Nothing is creepier than watching someone hula hoop with a serious look on their face.
@evildadatron: Practice good oral hygiene by wiping your mouth with toilet paper after talking shit