@candygrlMT: Stop telling me your newborns weight and length. I don't know what to do with that information.
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@FeverFlave: [inventing worcestershire sauce] Lea: We'll bottle pickled anchovy juice and name it unpronounceable. Perrins: That might work.
@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to the top 5 cakes in the world, crab, pan, pound, urinal and let them eat.
@TheTalkingPipe: Make a friend today. Give a complete stranger a big, long hug. If they happen to get mad, tell the police a guy on twitter said you could.
@TeaAndCopy: WIFE: Kate's new baby is 7lbs 11oz ME: WIFE: Roughly ½ a stone ME: WIFE: 3½ kilos ME: WIFE: [sigh] a four pack of beer ME: Oh cool