@candygrlMT: Stop telling me your newborns weight and length. I don't know what to do with that information.
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@DaHess1: Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
@AndyAsAdjective: [texting] you mean the wolf to me -wolf? ha! autocorrect fail! -lol what i meant to say was...you're a mean wolf to me
@daemonic3: [road trip] ME: I'm hungry, let's stop and eat FRIEND: I see a 24 hour breakfast place ME: You idiot, we don't have that kind of time