@mikeleffingwell: STOP TELLING ME YOUR NEWBORN'S WEIGHT AND LENGTH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION.
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@Pirate_nurse: I just shaved my legs for the first time in 2 weeks so if you will come clean out my tub I won't judge u for making a beautiful rug
@Naked_Wombat: Hey terrorists, wanna cripple America? Hack Twitter and cause all DM's to go public. I'm just kidding, don't do that shit. We'd kill you.