@ericsshadow: "Stop texting me. If I wanted to go on the second date, I wouldn't have stolen all your jewelry."
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@abhorrent_wife: Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share.
@Parentpains: If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
@Scimommy: Tried to impress 9 by making up sentences containing 3 of her vocabulary words at once, so now she knows what "nerd" means.
@wickedsuga: I say tomato. You say tomahto. Then I whip out my Webster's dictionary and show you how you pronounced it wrong.