@POTerritory: "Stop trying to give your words depth and gravitas by attributing them to a faraway old civilization." - ancient Chinese proverb
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@dreamthievin: I like to imagine Supreme Court is just like regular court but with tomatoes and sour cream.
@Home_Halfway: Writing "Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram
@EJGomez: bay: come over me: no you're a broad inlet of the sea where the land curves inward bay: my parents aren't home me: how are you talking
@funnybeachgirl: Just blew pot smoke on the huge spider hiding in my shower. I figure if I do this a few more times, he'll be too stoned to attack me.