@j88ess: Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013. Stare at your phone like a normal person
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@amselts: GIRL: l'm tired of bad boys and their bs. I want a good boy, for a change. ME [clearly a golden retriever]: *turns to camera and winks*
@jrza84: Actually told a girl who's moving to France soon that "there's lots of French people over there". It's a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
@JonasPolsky: If you ever feel stupid, just remember that every day, people are searching the internet to find out "Is the drug from LIMITLESS real?"