@j88ess: Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013. Stare at your phone like a normal person
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheRolo: Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast] Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!
@SoFarFetchd: "You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
@EndhooS: Scientist: we've finally taught a dog Morse Code Dog: [taps paw] Me: what did it say? Scientist: "woof"