@tigdonovan: Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit
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@ObscureGent: My best dating advice is to wait after you have two kids and a house before you tell her you speak elvish.
@TheCatWhisprer: They call cat people crazy but we're not the ones outside at 5AM every morning putting fresh dog poop into tiny baggies.