@notalogin: *stops by new neighbor*
Welcome, I brought you a cake!
-Wow, thank you! You know, you didn't have to do that!
Oh, ok.
*walks away with cake*
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@JerseyRambo: I'm going to sit here and wink at you. It's going to be a very long wink. With both eyes. Please, by all means, go on with your story.
@tylerschmall: Employees must applaud the planets.
@HeyZeus666: My boss thinks being gay is a disease so I called in queer this morning. But I reassured him that I should be straight again by tomorrow.
@batkaren: [after lover's spat] ME: Honey. Lamb chop. Sweetie cakes. HER: You're just naming foods. ME: Pumpkin. Muffin. HER: ... ME: Zucchini bread.
@Michabean: Careful...I've already had our entire fight in my head and it doesn't end well for you.
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