@MakeupHaxs: Story of my life.
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@Jay_FrickinLynn: Jesus: Give them fingernails in case they start itching. God: Alright, but wouldn't it be funny if they couldn't reach their backs?
@TheBoydP: Wife: What do you think our song is? Me: I'd have to say "Happy Birthday". It's the song we've sung together the most. Wife: Idiot...