@POTerritory: Strange how FB doesn't automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,
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@kellysdf: I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants.
@thepatrickwalsh: My dad's visiting soon, which means I need to practice apologizing to waiters with my eyes.
@thwphipps: the word 'freelancer' originally came from medieval knights who would kill evildoers for the king and THEN NOT GET PAID FOR EIGHT MONTHS