@POTerritory: Strange how FB doesn't automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: I can’t find my sandals WIFE: did you look everywhere? ME: yes WIFE: even down ME: yes even dow—I did not put those on
@NYC_Blonde: Tomorrow is the 4th of July which means one thing, it's going to be a really big day for nail art Instagram photos.
@AmberDonn: Texted Mom a question & she didn't answer right away. I'm going to send 4 more texts & 3 voicemails to give her a taste of her own medicine.
@HairyJew4Life: The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son.