@weismanjake: Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread
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@AndrewNadeau0: No one told me about Snapchat filters so all this time I've just been taping animals to my face.
@merrittk: cashier: youre so beautiful me: thank you! my brain: shes flattering u... to get u to buy more groceries...
@simoncholland: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.