@weismanjake: Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread
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@UrbanDouchebag: Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs.
@QwertyJones3: I guess the Tupperware lids in my house just graduate and go off to college or something.
@SillySassySmart: The awkwardness of my life is equivalent to when somebody says "Happy Birthday" and you say "Thanks you too!"
@SortaBad: "wow this rap song is good I wonder who this is" *waits literally 4 seconds* "oh there look at that he said his name how convenient"