@weismanjake: Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread
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@prncss_fifi: My parents think im a virgin. My boss thinks Im an excellent employee. The government thinks Im an outstanding citizen. Where's my Oscar?
@GrowlyGrego: My 5yo is a pretty good drawer but there's only so many t-shirts you can fit into a tiny person.
@shariv67: "Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk."n"What makes you so sure?"n"He is a penguin."
@topaz_kell: Exposing myself to different cultures has an entirely different meaning than I thought. *puts trench coat back on*