@donni: Strawberry is a terrible name. "Ooh, a berry with all the flavor of a straw," you'd think. But you'd be wrong
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@_davidlucas_: So it's okay for the cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up. But when I do it, I'm "antisocial". I call bullshit.
@TravZA: If you're going to a wedding this weekend and you see a random stranger dancing his nut off on the dance floor, I'm sorry, I lost a bet.
@LifeStricken: [Job Interview] HR : What do you consider your biggest weakness? Me : (pulls out machete) *whispers under my breath "I can't forgive people"