@AGreaterMonster: Stretching before working out is for wussies could someone please call 911?
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@rpbateman: This coworker is in a really good mood this morning, so I hacked his Facebook account and wrote "sexy" on all of his wife's friends' pics.
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Guys, please, I just need 5 minutes without a question, so I can finish this. 4yos: Me: 4yos: Me: 4yo: Why do you need 5 minutes, Daddy?
@maxlavergne: TIP: if ur worried about the airworthiness of the plane you're on offer it a chip. If it eats it you're on a seagull. Disembark immediately