@TheTweetOfGod: Stuck in church. Everyone’s singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”. Damn, My son has some stupid friends.
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@animaldrumss: To those out there who have accused me of selling out, of abandoning my beliefs and values to climb the social ladder: uh... yeah. yes.
@MindyFurano: my ex has had a really hard time moving on. from what i can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
@KeetPotato: [studying beached whale] its a new species bill think of a name ok um *surfer walks by* yo killer whale dude *biologists look at each other*
@massive_images: Dad: "So what are you going to do after you graduate?" Me: "well, mom said we'll probably go out somewhere to eat"