@sweb74: Studies found that 1 in 4 men are gay, meaning someone in my close group of friends is gay. I hope its Dave, he's really cute...
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@BoogTweets: Doritos CEO: we are getting a lot of backlash over this crunchless chip for women. We need ideas Thrice divorced Bob: When they finish the bag it can be pulled over their heads in shame CEO: I like it
@juliussharpe: I don't understand why people always fight becoming a zombie or vampire. Both seem awesome because you don't have to have a job.
@shutupmikeginn: Ugh I hate living next to an art school I dragged an old couch outside and a bunch of dudes came over and they're just taking pictures of it
@garrettbarry70: If by mathematician you mean dividing the number of snacks in my car by the number of miles I need to drive, then yes, I'm a mathematician.