@SamGrittner: "Stuff that alligator in that dolphin" - God creating sharks
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@LuvPug: These people at the theater are looking at me like they've never seen a grown woman hugging a stuffed animal at a scary clown movie before
@TheMichaelRock: If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.
@BoogTweets: *Busts through Kool-aid mans wall* Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home Me: I'm sorr… *A sippy cup starts crying*