@MichLKosinski: Music teacher comes to our house. Gives our kid a significant, noticeable haircut. Tells no one. Then leaves. !!!

@josePhDhoran: Excuse me girlfriend for I have burped. It has been 3 weeks since my last apology

@tastefactory: *picks up bug, puts it outside* There ya go. *later, bug smashes thru door carrying gun* You should have killed me when you had the chance

@nsterdan: Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they're talking?

@sigridellis: My son was at his blacksmithing camp yesterday. He came home with a knife "forged in the dark of an eclipse." I am so proud.