@mofrorock: Stupid cats, can't even YOLO
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@AristotlesNZ: Love how dog food commercials advertise tastier formulas like that matters when deciding what to buy & feed a pet who eats its own vomit.
@junejuly12: Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working.
@Darlainky: Set your phone alarm to a song you hate. You won't hit snooze, because then you'd have to hear Nickelback again.
@Mikecanrant: So carrying a "wet floor" sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon Dating is hard.