@badbanana: "Subpar accommodations. One star." - Oldest known TripAdvisor rating for Bethlehem.
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@G_Faylor: [Scientist discovering catfish] Scientist: What kind of fish are you? Fish, maintaining eye contact: *pushes entire shelf of beakers over*
@ShutUpThatsWho: [first date] HER: What are you doing with the Tupperware? ME: [filling container] The sign says 'All You Can Eat', it doesn't specify when
@xLiserx: Lois Lane spends a lonely afternoon at the beach because she doesn't recognize any of her friends in sunglasses.