@MyHairyLife: Subway calling their employees sandwich artists must really piss off people who actually paint sandwiches for a living.
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@JustDontBugMe: [During an ultrasound scan] Doctor:The baby looks fine. Mom:See? that's your baby sister in there! 3:What??Mom, why did you eat the baby?
@TodaysResume: During your interview, try ending every sentence with "dot jpg". "How would you say you handle job pressure?" --Not a problem.jpg