@meganamram: Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's "cool," but when I do I'm "lying"
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@bobvulfov: DONALD TRUMP (45 minutes into watching wall-e): this film is not what i hoped it would be
@KevinGetem: Teachers call it "Going to the bathroom". We call it "I'm bored, I'm gonna go wander around school."
@therealeatwood: Did you know that according to FDA regulations a goblin can be labeled as a hobgoblin even if it contains only 3% hob
@DaleInc: This drink tastes like the neighbors will be hearing late night small arms fire. I swear I just saw a coyote or a squirrel or a tree or a...