@meganamram: Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's "cool," but when I do I'm "lying"
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@Sassafrantz: [date] Me: Are you a serial killer? You have to tell me if you are. Him: That's a cop. Me: Changing the subject, just like a serial killer
@Kauaibride: settle down twitter crush. i didn't ask your last name to google you. i wanted to see how it sounded with the names i've picked for our kids
@neiltyson: Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job.