@meganamram: Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's "cool," but when I do I'm "lying"
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@meganamram: Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name
@Monathais: Husband and wife near wishing well. Suddenly wife slips and fell in the well. Terrified husband: Noooooooooo...I can't believe it's working!