@SteveDutzy: Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.
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@funandmisery: BATMAN: “...because bats scare me and I want criminals to share that fear. What about you?” INTIMACYMAN: “Oh haha...no reason I guess”
@KateWhineHall: Tom's of Maine is a really good deodorant to buy if you don't mind spending a little extra to smell like you don't use deodorant.
@XplodingUnicorn: [getting ready for church] Me: If you don't hurry up and get dressed, we're leaving you behind. 6-year-old: Okay. Me: If you don't hurry up, you have to go to church twice. 6: *gets dressed in record time*