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@_youhadonejob: Suddenly I'm not thirsty.
@markydoodoo: If you press this button, you will get a piece of cheesecake but one person on earth will die so-
*me already pressing button* sorry, what?
@FrogAvalanche: *pours a shaker of salt into the ocean*
You're free now
@WhatevaConc: Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown.
@MichaelGoffLA: How long does a guest have to overstay before you can claim them on your taxes?
@JimGaffigan: As long as McDonald's doesn't make us pay with excercise.