@huntigula: *suddenly pulls away from kissing* why aren't there any female Transformers?!?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NicestHippo: *points to refrigerator* That makes things cold *points to stove* That makes things hot *points to self* That makes things awkward
@notalogin: On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say "the food" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon.
@CVTBaby: Him: Can you forgive me? *mental montage of me trying to figure out who this guy is* Me: Yes, but I'm really hurt so please give me time.
@Social_Mime: When I want to trim down my friend's list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.