@50ShadesGran: Suddenly she was on her back, clothes strewn everywhere and her wrists bound to her ankles. She always had trouble hanging out the washing.
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@juliussharpe: At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one.
@bidenandobama: Biden: Think about it like an investment opportunity. Obama: I'm not buying you an above ground pool, Joe.
@charstarlene: Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
@MichaelTrying: How many times does it have to be aliens before Scully believes? How many times does it have to be a guy in a mask before Shaggy doesn't?