@OhNoSheTwitnt: Suicide Squad spoiler: Jared Leto's Joker is so twisted he puts big spoons in the drawer slots where the little spoons go.
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@WilliamAder: Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon.
@dyldonot: "omg you're covered in blood! are you ok?" [cut to me blending a tomato but I cant get the lid on properly] you should see the other guy
@Mr_Kapowski: Boss: You're late Me: Sorry, my clock was set to Australian time Boss: That would make today Saturday Me: You're right. I'll go home