@lil_escher: summer is the worst time of the year to turn goth what the shit was i thinking
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@myles_morrison: Whenever your girlfriend tells you she's on her period remember not to say things like "that explains it."
@Love_bug1016: The person who is your first and last thought of the day is either the one who has your heart, or who's murder you're secretly plotting.
@_wangwe: Superman's first day at the daily planet. Boss: Since you're new, you might need supervision. Clark: I have that, superhearing too.
@bingowings14: 'I'm really excited about the Pixar cowboy figure I got for my birthday.' 'Woody?' 'Not quite that excited.'