@lil_escher: summer is the worst time of the year to turn goth what the shit was i thinking
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@bggas400: You never know how many people are out jogging early in the morning till you back out of your driveway with frost covered windows.
@daemonic3: [campfire] And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN [everyone screams in terror]
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend told me she wants me to pull her hair , but apparently not while she's driving. Girls are weird.
@heidi420x: Her: how are you Me: good Her: you sure? Me: yup Her: you're alright? Me: yes.. Her: really? Me: Her: are y-- Me: people like you go missing