@TeachersHot: Sunday mornings are a great time for me to reflect on why I haven't killed anyone yet
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jjhartinger: [ring] Me: Hi Mom: You picked up. Me: I know M: Why Me: You called M: I wanted to leave a message Me: Just tell me M: Hang up [ring] Me: Hi
@nbadag: BRAIN: you need to let loose a little, have some fun ME: rainbow colored goldfish crackers it is
@FinallyHeSleeps: Nothing freaks out people like unblinking eye contact in a public restroom. Especially when you do it from underneath the stall divider.
@hazelmotes1: On the Titanic 0 people died from alcohol poisoning and 1,500 people died from drinking too much water. You decide which is more dangerous.