@TeachersHot: Sunday mornings are a great time for me to reflect on why I haven't killed anyone yet
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@AaronCSU54: My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees.
@Travon: "Hey Hillary what color do you think this dre-- never mind" - Bill Clinton scrolling through Twitter last night
@mean_spice: Teacher: welcome to health class Me: my friend said you can get a girl pregnant by kissing her? Teacher: sir please just mop the floor