@mynameshank: Super productive day, I took down all of my neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations.
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@ericONEderful: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Diet, Day 14: I hate everyone. My children are scared of me & I've repelled everyone else. But I'm starting to really like pears.
@Jennifergr8: Women dressed head to toe in animal print just bumped into me, thought I was being attacked my an obese leopard.
@meganamram: I have a friend visiting from out of town. What's your fave place in LA to look at your phone??