@mynameshank: Super productive day, I took down all of my neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations.
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@theevilwriter: I stopped writing poetry when I realized their only value was to threaten to read them to people if they didn't do what I wanted.
@robdelaney: Just dyed a bald eagle red, white & blue & forced my family to eat 3 apple pies each. We're all crying. It's awesome.
@samuelhlowe: -Do you take drugs? -No. -Ever tried them? -Never. -You seem very nervous. -I'm just not used to being questioned by a unicorn.
@moren1ke: i always feel slightly dishonest ticking the "i'm not a robot" box because how do i know, how does anyone know for certain