@briangaar: Superpower: giving evildoers the hiccups, then on day 23, you throw them off a building but by that point they're just sobbing "thank you"
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@Matt_The_1st: Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
@Brianhopecomedy: Well this is awkward. Apparently when my wife's friend invited me over for a play-date I was supposed to bring my kids.
@KKBowls: I was riding a horse once and its leg broke, so I had to shoot it -- everyone on the carousel freaked out.
@audipenny: Hey I got your text but then I died, I'll probably like resurrect when we accidentally run into each other though