@briangaar: Superpower: giving evildoers the hiccups, then on day 23, you throw them off a building but by that point they're just sobbing "thank you"
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@usermcuserface: Remember when you were a kid and the teacher said you can be anything you want to be? Luckily I chose lower middle class and overweight.
@juliussharpe: Roadside motels are a good place to stay if you haven't decided yet whether you want to kill someone or be killed.
@michaelianblack: Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time.