@NoogsCorner: Superwife! Gets pissed faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than your longest friendships. Leaps your decisions in a single bound.
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@DirtMcTurd: "Heres your social security card, you need it forever! Its made of paper, don't laminate it. Good luck." -The Government
@MatCro: ME: I want the car's brake lines to rust SCIENTIST: I'm listening ME: [slides over envelope full of cash] But make it look like an oxidant
@SgtButtCheeks: Saying 'Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?' only works in the movies and not with strangers at Sports Authority