@Marcmywords2: Sure boss, I'd love to take on some extra work, I have like 7-8 free hours a night where all I do is sleep anyway.
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@TrolleyCat: I'm not helping to save the environment until bears let me ride them around like cars. It's a group effort, bears.
@VeganZebra: *drinking my first beer with my dad* "I can't believe you made me eat the other ones"
@Mr_Kapowski: [Grandma's funeral] GIRL: *crying* BOY: Bae, I know what will make you feel better *opens casket to reveal PROM? spelled in carnations*
@TheMichaelRock: Ladies, if he leaves the stickers on his hat, that's his way of telling you he won't pay child support.