@WheelTod: Sure Charlie got himself a Chocolate Factory, but his grandparents got to stay in bed for 20 years so ask yourself who were the real winners
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@brennadine: Therapist: So what happened in your last relationship? I lost him to addiction. Therapist: I'm so sorry. Drugs? Yes please.
@FrenulumBreve: Me:[grabbing my guitar] i wrote this for you. Her: awww. Me:*pulls note out of guitar hole* "we're out of cereal."
@DrDogMD: [During surgery] DR DOG: Suction please. NURSE: But there's no bleeding. DR DOG: I know *drooling* but just look at that liver!