@HatfieldAnne: Sure I could kill you with kindness, but let’s see what else is lying around first.
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@PaperWash: Find everything OK, sir? Everything except happiness! You won't find that at Wal-Mart! We laughed & laughed until my credit card declined
@Tmoney68: I ran without my headphones today & was reminded that I feel better about my fitness when my soundtrack isn't my panicked gasping breathing.
@realHamOnWry: These days, satisfying my sex drive is like using Uber. It's a nervous ride with a stranger who expects to be paid after we reach the end.
@ohpegah: [playing with a Ouija board with my dog] Board: B A L L Me: I know that's you moving it! Stop! Board: T R E A T S