@PJTLynch: Sure, I could live a pious life so St. Peter lets me through the Pearly Gates. Or I could just crawl under the gate since IT SITS ON A CLOUD
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@AdamOfEarth: Optimus Prime: "I transform from a robot into a truck. You?" Amazon Prime: "I transform money into regrettable internet purchases at 2 AM."
@LittleLostLad: Kevin Spacey ordering a takeaway coffee from Starbucks and receiving the cup with 'Kevin E' written on the side.
@pittdave13: First date Me: have you ever taken a selfie with a dog face filter? Her: Yes, I love those! Me: Well look at the time this has been fun...