@PJTLynch: Sure, I could live a pious life so St. Peter lets me through the Pearly Gates. Or I could just crawl under the gate since IT SITS ON A CLOUD
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@ericsshadow: ME: I had salmon for lunch. WIFE: the L is silent. ME: Ha, I knew that. I meant unch.
@ThaJawn: (playing Monopoly) Hour 1: Why don't we play this more? Hour 16: *holding bloody napkins to nose* Does it look broken?
@Mothpete: The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?
@NakedHangover: Yelling "shotgun" when getting in a car means a seat in the front. Yelling it before getting on a plane means a seat in the TSA office.