@_Tempo11: Sure I get excited when he unzips his pants. I'm pretending it's the sound of his body bag.
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: Prisoner: You inked Me: *thinking about my "I hate prisoners" back tattoo* No why
@T_Bonezzz: My girlfriend said she wants me to make her feel like shes the only girl in the world. So i'm gonna drop her off in the desert and leave
@spcycucumber: Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You'd think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
@Petote: My fish makes so much noise during the night that I wake up six times a night to ask him if we are fighting