@lafpgh: Sure, I'd love to Skype with you. Just hold on a sec while I brush my hair and undergo various cosmetic surgery procedures.
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@HallpassCanada: Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here.
@RandiLawson: Did U hear they're remaking 'Dirty Dancing' & Miley Cyrus is gonna play the abortion.
@ThaJawn: *hands note Boss: *reading* 'Please excuse my son from' Ridiculous! You're working! *thinking* I practiced my Mom's signature for nothing