@dumbbeezie: Sure I'll come to your costume party. I'll be a ninja. If you don't see me then you know I took the challenge seriously
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@jctwritesstuff: Me: I only wanted a little mayo! I can't eat this! Him: Does it matter that much? Me: Well, would you like me to stab you a little or a lot?
@jackmackenroth: If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of rice because maybe an Asian will come by and fix it.
@AnkCoupleTO: [speaking at an AA meeting] Me: You'll find the transition from hard liquor to hard drugs expensive, but very rewarding *everyone cheers*
@Flattliner: People who drive very slowly cause me cognitive dissonance. They deserve to die, but appear less likely to do so...