@GreenishDuck: Sure I'll eat square slices of pizza, but I'm thinking of triangular ones the whole time.
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@KindOfASmartass: Me: My daughters are 15, 13, and 10. Her: Do you want more kids? Me: Hahahahahahahaha Her: Is that a no? Me: *Deep breathe* Hahahahahaha
@EdgarAllanLo: My million dollar invention is a microwave that stops beeping when you yell, "I hear you!" from across the house.
@laurajennyjo: Apparently trapping people in an elevator overnight (even if you have marsh mellows) not a good way to make friends, people are so sensitive
@goldengateblond: Tim Cook bravely announces he's gay. The world pats his hand like a kindly grandmother. "We know, dear."