@WineMummy: Sure laying me down on a "Bed of Roses" sounds all romantic and shit, but I much rather lay on a bed of fries and onion rings.
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@ChaseMit: Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have "evolved." Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about.
@AimeeHelene1: Hi, I'm a fruit fly that could live here undetected, but, no, I'm gonna fly in this lady's face til she makes it her mission to destroy me.
@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.