@Tmoney68: Sure, my bologna has a first name, but he's a stickler for manners so he insists we still call him Mr. Bologna.
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@Travis_Lemire: Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
@WilliamAder: Me: Sweetie, I think these wireless headphones you got me are defective. Wife: Those are earmuffs.
@WittySassBasket: I like to finish my pelvic exam by asking the doctor 'hey, where'd your watch go?'