@Tmoney68: Sure, my bologna has a first name, but he's a stickler for manners so he insists we still call him Mr. Bologna.
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@just1fool: The last beer didn't tell me why life is so confusing but it told me the next one would.
@AntiJokeJamal: A lion walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave predicting the impending danger at hand.
@WeissBrandon: When I ask my wife if she wants help, she changes the subject and asks if a bear shits in the woods, like I'm some sort of bear scientist.