@Kyle_Lippert: Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of it's dead friends in your hand.
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@rdthought: Girlfriend: Stop lying around on the couch all day. Me: But you said we needed to start conserving energy.
@MisterBombay: Before Twitter, I'd ignore dumb thoughts in my head like "How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?" Now, I tweet them