@Kyle_Lippert: Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of it's dead friends in your hand.
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@TheMichaelRock: My 14yo made fun of me this morning because I had to go to work while he had a snow day, so I changed the wifi password.
@michaeldean0116: If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader then she would be known as Ella Vader.......
@TheBoydP: If you don't think government is inefficient and wasteful, explain how the Census Bureau has been around so long yet we still use Fahrenheit
@sarcasm_inc: *at a loud house party* Is this your- I SAID IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? I NOTICED THE DOG BOWL. WHERE IS HE OR SHE, I'D LIKE TO PET HIM OR HER