@SteveSuckington: Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but they won't have sex with you either.
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@ilovepie84: Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You're welcome.
@Vodkantots: I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year.
@UncleDuke1969: 2 Smurfs stand over a body... "What happened?" "Choked on a sandwich." "Nobody helped?" "No." "Didn't they see him turning bl-" "..." "Oh."
@RandomManik: GF texted me that her ex wants to get her back. So I texted, "I care for you. Don't do this". I'm still working on what to reply to my GF.