@rickkondell: Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
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@heckinglame: Horton Hears a who? Horton Hears a what? Horton Hears a huh? Horton hears a chicka chikca chicka chicka slim shady.
@AngelaEhh: Fitness friend: Do you know what you're putting in your body? *flashes back to ex *shudders
@amydillon: 85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the "she" in her story is.
@ConanOBrien: My two favorite things about Easter morning are (1) hiding the eggs and (2) the looks on my kids' faces when the snakes start to hatch.