@rickkondell: Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
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@ariscott: [Day after Xmas] 7am: I am detoxing today, only fruit and liquids for me 9am: There are worse things than eating 14 cookies for breakfast
@TheRolo: Wife: I think we need a break. *Titanic crashes into iceberg* Husband: THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? Wife: Yes.
@GensPlace: I know I'm gorgeous, young and sexy. My secret to eternal youth is a steamy bathroom, so my glasses mist up.
@hiimmatts: VILLAIN: Hello, Mr. Bond. I've been expecting- BOND: OMG congrats! How far along are you? V: What? No- B: Have you picked out a name yet?