@QwertyJones3: Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife.
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@Marlebean: I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH SWEET TEA AND I'M SO AWAKE AND NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE AWAKE AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN A WHILE, LUNGES!!
@leechee420: Stop making mini snacks, people. Never have I been like, "wow this is a delicious cupcake. If only it were 1/4 of the size."
@dubstep4dads: [i wake up confused] KIDNAPPER: youll never guess where we are! ME: [observing floor tile pattern] this is a Dennys bathroom KIDNAPPER: shit
@Tierno158: My motto is "Grab Life by the Balls." As you might imagine, being dyslexic, I spend a lot of time apologizing to guys named "Leif."