@QwertyJones3: Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife.
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@ValeeGrrl: You have to admire husband's focus as he plays on his iPad while I furiously chop carrots tapping out "I hate you" in morse code w my knife.
@DiscoFruit: [first date] her: so are you a dog or cat person? me: *long dramatic pause* well... i'm almost positive that i'm just a normal person..?
@Deurb1: While fixing my neighbors car I asked her for a screwdriver... She asked if I had orange juice. We've been dating since.