@QwertyJones3: Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife.
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@Brampersandon_: BOSS: You forgot my birthday didn't you? ME: *lighting candle* No what gave u that idea? BOSS: idk maybe that candle stuck in a urinal cake?
@QwertyJones3: I used to hate flying. I thought the plane would go down. But now I just bring my wife with me on the plane because my wife never goes down.
@sickipediabot: I'll be honest, the only time I'd ever want to be 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' would be if I was chasing them With an axe.