@mewritesgood: "SURPRISE!!!!" - Every girl with drawn-on eyebrows.
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@KelgoreTrout: i named my first son "christian" and i named his twin brother "born-again christian"
@Jay_FrickinLynn: Me: We broke up. Male Friend: You okay? You need to talk? Shoulder to cry on? You want to come over? Go to dinner? Sleep with me finally?
@LoneWolfStories: Sometimes I like to surprise my neighbours by smiling and waving back at them.