@beermanboobs: Surprise your coworkers by hiding in the utility closet until you're dead.
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@UnFitz: For Halloween I'm giving out razor blades with candy in them. These kids'll be shaving away and then BAM - nougat everywhere.
@varoon_singh: When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
@addyosmani: Wow, it's a beautiful day outside. I should probably do something. *closes the blinds so there isn't a glare on my screen* ~ Developers
@Marlebean: *interrupts your heartfelt story* Oh NOW I hear your New York accent!! Say "dying wish" again! Ok now say "coffee"!